Julia Bardo - Reflecting on Identity in the Times of Covid

Italy-born Manchester musician Julia Bardo takes the Covid-induced prolonged separation from her homeland as an opportunity to reflect on the meaning of identity and the impact foreign cultures can have on our perception of life. The outcome is a love letter to the cinema of Fellini and Antonioni and to the need of screaming the attachment to one’s roots.

Born in Brescia and relocated to Manchester four years ago to escape the condition of cultural deadlock of her hometown, Julia Bardo became in no time a pivotal member of the British independent music scene; first as a member of Working Men’s Club and then pursuing a solo career.

With two EPs under her belt, Julia has made her ability to openly reflecting on her feelings and emotions a core part of her compositions. This attitude is mirrored in her latest single ‘It’s Okay (Not To Be Okay)’, but it mostly is in ‘I Wanna Feel Love’ that the chanteuse draws a personal manifesto. With a heartfelt bridge where she sensually croons in Italian, Bardo seems to open a window into her soul and cultural roots. The song’s spoken word segment, in fact, strengthens her bond with retro Italian music suggesting that this feeling of cultural saudade should not be intended as a weight but, on the contrary, as a spring.

The attitude behind those lines - similarly to the artist’s own Italian translation of part of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Only Over You’ lyrics in her covers EP The Raw - seem to capture the condition of identity suspension which Bardo found herself living in over the latest months, when the Covid pandemic forced her to prolonged separation from home and family.

Julia Bardo by Henry Carlyle Wade

It is with this spirit that Julia, reflecting on the importance of her culture and the feelings to it associated, penned a touching short piece on the theme of identity; a write-up that she has agreed to share on these pages. The outcome is a love letter to the cinema of Fellini and Antonioni and to the need of screaming the attachment to one’s roots.

“When I was younger I used to hate the fact that I am Italian. I felt so limited, not part of a bigger view, a bigger world. I used to be so angry because I was born in such a small town in Italy.

Now, in my late twenties, being away from home for four years now, I am realising how much Italy is part of me and my personality. How important it is for me to be Italian. How happy it makes me feel. The language, the gestures, the passion, the arts, the culture, the tradition.

There’s no doubt that I am missing Italy, now more than ever. Maybe I am growing up and getting old, or maybe I am watching too many Fellini and Antonioni’s films but these days I feel like screaming to the world ‘Sono Italiana!’ without feeling ashamed of it.

I am an Italian woman; I am passionate, I am fiery, I am jealous, I am dramatic. I am who I am and I don’t need to explain myself to anybody. What you see is what you get. My emotions are raw, real and always at the front. I use my hands when I talk, I raise my voice when I am excited, I dream, I get angry, I cry a lot, I love a lot, I eat a lot.

I’ve been feeling estranged lately, like I’m on a desert island, deprived of my roots and my language and questioning ‘Who am I?’. I have been in England for four years and I haven’t been able to go back to Italy and be with my family as I used to before Covid, so sometimes I don’t feel like I belong anywhere.

I feel like I lose my identity, I feel lonely and I find it so hard to properly bond with people here, sometimes. Often it’s like I have to put a lid on my feelings, be colder and distant because everyone around me is. Most of the times I don’t feel understood, I feel judged, misjudged and so I close myself in my cocoon, in my bell jar, instead of going out and socialise because I feel so different from everyone. I’ve always felt different no matter where I was but this time is a different ‘different’.

All this reflection came about because I find that watching Italian films and listening to Italian music makes me reconnect with my identity and personality. I found out that, actually, it’s so important for me to feel that it’s still here, inside me, hidden somewhere and it’s just a matter of time for it to show up again and again. It’s true, you appreciate something when it’s not with you anymore.”